7 hours ago
Why can't you see that ordering #pizza AND #garlic knots with #marinara sauce and parmesan is the SAME THING?! #carbs #glutton #obese
2 weeks ago
You know you're in bad shape when you pull something after you clench your prostate. I should've stretched. #exercise #PhysicalActivity
2 weeks ago
My mother was told to do #keagle exercises. She thought they said #kugel. Now she's gained 14 pounds.
3 weeks ago
What I don't understand is, he cares enough about his #appearance to dye his #hair pitch black but the rest of him looks like he lives in a #shakeNBake bag.
#priorities #vanity #nope