Magician’s Lion Does it’s Worst!


I had been asked to consult on production for a cruise ship, revue show producer whos only dream was to have shows on land. I never cared for her product and her delusions of self-importance.


Don’t misunderstand. Every producer I’ve ever met thinks they are Andrew Lloyd Webber. I sat in a Las Vegas cirque show next to a cabaret lounge producer who’s show audiences were papered (free tickets) by the hotel. He ripped the multi-million dollar spectacular to shreds! “Ummmm … your show is a sign, a curtain and karaoke tracks!”


Back to the story ….


She was originally a dancer. And like most producers, they come from one area of the business so when they eventually think they can produce, the show is heavily base in the one aspect they know while the alternate, equally important layers are lacking or missing (lights, dialogue, music, transitions or arc). Her sets and costumes may at times have been expensive, but were usually generic, very abstract or just built for look, not longevity. She’d spend a few thousand on suits for a singer she loved, but wouldn’t pay for costume cleanings for six months at a time. Her male dancers were sometimes so fem, you didn’t know who was supposed to be leading, and the female dancers notoriously stuck their fingers down their throat just to please her.


She finally got a show at a casino in Aruba. It was a magic show and the stars of it were “Siegfried & Roy” … Light. They had like one cat in the act that was old and had maybe one tooth. The producer built the show around them and decided she was going to rent them a lion. I’m not sure where you do that. Amazon? Lions-R-Us? But even if you know nothing about show business, clearly this is a bad idea. Even your dog needs to bond with you before handling them right?


She was in a particularly bitchy mood during this set-in, cracking the whip and talking to people like trash. But karma would soon pay her a visit.


Her company sent invitations and flew in hotel and casino entertainment directors from around the country for opening night to woo them into contracting her for their properties.


8pm. The front rows are made up of entertainment directors and the casino’s high-rollers, mostly Asian business men. The curtain goes up, the opening number climaxes, the lion appears and the place goes wild! The magicians walk the beast down the ramp to the VIP booths when the animal stops, lifts it’s leg, and pisses on the whole front row. The thick yellow stream hit the table and sprayed out. Stinky-lion-pee. I could smell it all the way up in the tech booth.



After the show, I heard the man who got the largest of the golden shower also won a car in the casino. Coincidence my ass.


Thank you Karma. Nice to see you again.