Use of the Public Toilet Paper Seat Cover


Aside from the initial challenge of pulling the cover out of the wall dispenser without ripping it (pull up then down and out seems to do the trick), there seems to be a small debate on the proper usage of the sanitary toilet seat cover in the public restrooms.


As you know the template is a round or oval piece of tissue-type paper with one flat side. There is a perforated cutout shaped similarly to a light bulb. The perforation ends at the “base” of the bulb, obviously meant to stay attached at that smaller point leaving a tail of paper to hang into the toilet.


The makers of the sanitary cover say the paper hangs into the toilet to “anchor” the cover onto the toilet seat and in turn get pulled in upon flushing. We all remember the tedious process of ripping off and laying pieces of toilet paper around the seat only to have a gust of wind blow them off or into the toilet as your bowels are ready to explode.


I admit I have not always dropped the tail into the water for fear that like “Bounty – The Quicker Picker-Upper”, the water will soak into the paper, slowly moving up the tail until I am sitting with wet, public toilet water against my person.


The primary debate seems to be, does the round part of the light bulb shape go in front or in back? I have always believed that the rounded part goes in the back where your ass is. Big ass, big oval. And the tail goes in front, hanging down into the toilet to shield your junk from touching the front of the toilet bowl where the rest of the world has been sitting.


Mind you, if I am sitting and have to urinate as well, will I pee on the paper, in turn activating the “Bounty” effect on the paper before the toilet water does?  I have never actually experienced this problem so perhaps the paper is covered in some sort of liquid proofing in which I say hurrah to the engineers. Why be concerned about something that has never happened and muck up this entire analyzation with a moot point? It’s the kind of thinking that kept me out of the really good schools.


A friend just told me he puts the tail to the back, which leads me to imagine it would get in the way of “dropping the Cosby Kids off at the pool” or as I like to call it, “Having a meeting with The Temptations”. Wouldn’t the tail get in the way of your line of fire?


While this may seem trivial, I did look this up and someone did post asking, “When using the public toilet paper cover, which side of the paper goes up?”  This person should never be allowed in public to begin with.



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