The Late Show: Top 10 Lists

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOP 10 Non Emmy Winning Shows
10. GREY’S PAPAYA ANATOMY
9. HOW I MET YOUR TURKEY BASTER
8. NCIS: DULUTH
7. DESPERATE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
6. THE BIG BONG THEORY
5. EL CELADO on TNT
4. TRUE BLOOD CLOT
3. WHO WANTS TO GET LEGIONNAIRES?
2. REAL TIME WITH BERNIE MADOFF
1. 9021-OH WHO THE HELL CARES

 

Seven Army soldiers and two Marines are not facing criminal charges, for their part in the Secret Service prostitution scandal in Colombia this year but they have received administrative punishments.

 

Top 10 Alternate Punishments for Army Soldiers
10.) Can no longer use office photocopier to print out STD results.
9.) Collating the Hookers.
8.) On casual Friday, you have to wear a full body condom.
7.) Must attend mandatory behavioral seminars lead by HR director, Heidi Fleiss
6.) Every time the Sgt. yells “Drop and give me 20”, they hand him 20 dollars.
5.) Sit in a chair while Clint Eastwood babbles incoherently at you.
4.) Reassigned to handing out Girl Scout cookies at the Costco.
3.) Your wife will leave you and you’ll go back to making movies. Oh wait, that was Governor Schwartzenegger
2.) You say “Good morning” and your co-workers only reply is “You can’t handle the truth!”
1.) Your dress whites, are now a white dress.

 

On July 15th, an Israeli man sets himself on fire as a government protest. I guess there was no more room at the sit-in? I dont know anything I’d care enough about to set myself on fire. Except the stance of NOT setting myself on fire in a protest.

 

TOP 10 other things I’d consider doing before setting myself on fire to protest.
10.) Eat every meal at the Olive Garden until justice is served.
9.) Wear a t-shirt that says, “What would Oprah do?”
8.) Give JJ Walker and Kirk Cameron a bullhorn to spout off about gay marriage being a sin so we can be sure to not care a second time.
7.) Publicly shirtless, squeezing my belly chub together making a little mouth that shouts racial slurs.
6.) Shave my entire body. Two words: ingrown hairs.
5.) Hold my breath.
4.) Join and then escape from Scientology.
3.) Taste the Rainbow until there are no more Skittles, my teeth rot out and I get diabetes.
2.) Give the silent treatment.
1.) Start with a sunburn for god sake.